Sido has been one of the most successful rappers in Germany for over two decades. In the spring of 2022, he suddenly fell silent. After the total accident, he was treated at a psychiatric clinic.
“Without the collection and physicals at the clinic, I probably wouldn’t have survived this summer.”
Last spring, rapper Sido ended up in a psychiatric hospital for several weeks. Or as he put it in the magazine “Spiegel”: “Everything got out of control. I ended up getting stuck.”
The beginning of the crisis coincides with the coronavirus pandemic. According to Sid, it was the eighth year of his marriage. He could have done quite well for seven years. He was faithful, then the “spirits” came.
“Super Smart Drug Victim”
In the spring of 2020, reporters from the newspaper “Bild” stood in front of his plot, because the rapper had previously spread conspiracy myths in an interview. “Bild” employees filmed Sid’s house. Sido, whose real name is Paul Würdig, appeared at the garden fence and insulted reporters.
It got worse. Shortly after, his wife dumped him – as the musician says today, rightfully so. Sido moved into an apartment and soon after fell into old patterns.
The letters of his stage name once stood for “super-intelligent drug victim”.
When Sido felt bad this time, he took chemical drugs again. Pills, liquid ecstasy, speed. The biggest temptation, says the 41-year-old, is cocaine. Whenever he takes hard drugs, he ends up having sex.
At a certain point, his transient condition worried even colleagues and friends. Earlier this year, rapper Kool Savas sent him a voicemail. The two musicians are longtime friends.
Siggi, I’m really worried about you, Savas said. He talked and talked and at the end his voice was shaking. “He almost cried,” Sido said.
Only then did he realize how serious the situation really was. His ex-wife then ordered him to stay at the clinic.
Sid’s behavior prior to his hospital stay is described in Spiegel as “moral”. He is said to have collected curfews at hotels and was “reckless” with his children and ex-wife.
During this time he was often unpresentable. Sido says that his young sons especially hate the way he behaved. He understands her now.
“I’m probably completely broken when it comes down to it”
During his stay at the clinic, Sido had to take a urine sample regularly to make sure he didn’t relapse. The worst part, says the musician in Spiegel, was staying clean. The feeling that there is nothing left to obscure yourself and your pain.
It wasn’t until the clinic that he realized how much he had missed his absent father all this time. He never wanted to admit that. Sid’s father left the family when Paul Würdig was not even three years old.
Sido believes he has a bad idea of masculinity because there was never anyone who could give him a good one: “When it comes down to it, I’m probably completely broken.” In his song “Versager” he raps about how his father always thought of him as a nobody.
His therapist was often surprised that he never cried in the clinic, says Sido. He only succeeded when he wrote a song in which he apologizes to his four sons.
Who is Paul Worthy?
After more than 20 years in show business, he loves and hates Sid, says the musician in Spiegel. Because few people out there still know Paul Würdig.
Not even he himself.
After all, since his stay at the clinic, he has known that he would like to be Paul more often. Who is Paul?
“Well,” says Sido, he has yet to find out.