“I probably wouldn’t have survived the summer without downloads”


21/11/2022, 16:1721/11/2022, 18:10

Carla Hermel / watson.de

Sido has already rapped about drug excesses in a number of his hits. But when he married Charlotta Engelhardt in 2012 and had two sons with her, this phase of his life seemed to be over – until the family idyll collapsed in 2020, as Sido has now revealed to the Mirror. In the interview, he laid everything on the table and told his story of the last two years, when he almost killed himself with drugs.

Sido at a concert in August this year.Image: www.imago-images.de

Sido crashed after the breakup

Like many, Sid’s crash began at the same time as the pandemic. So the “spirits” came and made him unfaithful. Later, his wife rightfully dumped him, the rapper explained. So he slipped into old patterns and consumed a lot of chemical drugs – until unconsciousness. He was particularly fond of cocaine, and hard drugs always got him into the drug-sex cycle.

That’s how it went for a while, according to “Spiegel”, people from Sid’s neighborhood also confirmed it. He was rude to his family, banned from several hotels and even failed to show up at his concert promoter’s funeral.

Rap colleague Kool Savas and his ex-wife allegedly gave the impetus to accept the help at the beginning of this year. Sido received a voice note from Savas in which he emphasized in a trembling voice that he was “really worried” about him. A little later, his ex-wife arranged for a withdrawal. Sido explained:

“Everything got out of hand. I ended up getting stuck.”

epa05448346 German rapper Kool Savas performs during his concert at the Blue Balls festival in Lucerne, Switzerland, July 29, 2016. The music event runs until July 30.  EPA/URS FUEL

Fellow rapper Kool Savas was also worried about Sido.Image: EPA/KEYSTONE

The clinic saved his life

When he got to the clinic, his healing process began. It was a special challenge to stay sober and thus have to endure lucidity. But that’s what saved his life, the rapper now reflected:

“Without the collection and physicals at the clinic, I probably wouldn’t have survived this summer.”

However, since the desire for drugs remained, Sido called the withdrawal from the contract only the beginning. What surprised him, however, was that he only had a drug problem. According to Würdig, which is Sido’s real name, he also assumed depression and narcissism.

Sido “screwed up” with his sons.

While at the clinic, he also learned the extent to which he was influenced by his own father, who abandoned him when he was two years old. Now for the first time he admitted the father complex and came to terms with it.

According to Sid, the lack of a male role model also affected his role as a father. The victims of his story are primarily his four sons. The rapper stated that they are still bothered by his behavior, which he understands. He “screwed” them all, which is quite an achievement:

“Four sons, four times screwed. You have to do it first.”

In addition to the children, however, his marriage also suffered significantly from his addiction. Sido has only been a divorced man for a few weeks, although he really wanted to live with his family. But he failed and maybe he just wasn’t made for a perfect family life, Würdig explained.

The new album is about the last few years

Sido is now dealing with all of this on his new album. Before that, he would never go to therapy with a silver mask on his face, he emphasized. Also in order not to offer a target for attack in the hip-hop business.

But now he didn’t care, he didn’t have to prove anything to anyone. One of the songs is about apologizing to his children. When he wrote this song, Sido stated that he cried for the first time in the clinic.

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